Letters to Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

I sincerely apologize if any of you have come down with a case of hemorrhoids. There is nothing wrong with my WiFi. It was just my cat walking on my keyboard.

Sincerely,
Juturna


(Fix: Find the WiFi button. Looks like a little cell tower.)





Find the disable/enable icon

Dear Tech Support,

If anyone has developed a sudden and horrible case of whooping cough, I am certain it was not my fault. I never learned how to correctly curse people. Also, you will be happy to note that there is nothing wrong with my touchpad. It was just my cat walking on my keyboard.



A clearer image of the icon

Sincerely,
Juturna

(Fix: Hit the touchpad able/disable button.)






Dear Tech Support,

For the record, I have never actually studied voodoo. Therefore, if someone broke a leg within the past 24 hours, it was probably just coincidence. My screen is just fine; it is not locked forever sideways. It was just my cat walking on the keyboard (again.)

Sincerely,
Juturna

(Fix: Ctrl+Alt+up arrow)




Dear Tech Support,

I am not actually telepathic, telekinetic, or pyrokinetic. Therefore, the mysterious incidence of chairs flying randomly around your building and exploding into flame during our last phone call is probably a sign that you have a poltergeist. You should get that checked that out. Also, as luck would have it, my monitor display is not experiencing a slow but inevitable demise as the fuel cells power down into nothing. It was just my cat walking on my keyboard.

Sincerely,
Juturna

(Fix: Brightness up.)






Dear Tech Support,

If I may have insinuated that I was in contact with the forces of weather during our last discussion and had convinced them to demolish your previous facility (congratulations on the move, by the way) with a tornado wrapped up by an electrical storm, it was an honest mistake of hyperbole. I have no influence on weather patterns, and a freak storm unlike any that has ever been seen in your area before is certainly just an unfortunate coincidence. I tried hooking up an extra monitor to my computer, and discovered that the laptop monitor is neither broken nor inhabited by demons--it was just my cat walking on my keyboard and stepping on the monitor display button (projector only).

Sincerely,
Juturna

(Fix: Since you can't see what's happening on your screen, either hook your monitor up to an external monitor (which should automatically send the screen back to your normal monitor) or restart. This is what you would see if you could see anything.)



Dear Tech Support,

I don't know why the boogeyman is after you. Maybe you offended him when you implied his most recent technological mishap might have been the fault of his cat.

Sincerely,
Juturna

There's a computer in this picture. Somewhere.